Tuesday, 3 July 2012

La Fin.

Every beginning has an end. It started with a Yes and ended with a No. At first I was unsure whether it would be appropriate to post such intimate things onto my blog. However, I remembered that I promised this wouldn't only be a blog, but a diary where not only I post my opinions on subjects, but where I reveal the details of my private life.

My 16 month relationship with Billy has terminated and much to my confusion it ended abruptly. It has taken me a while to write this as I was initially in denial; the evening he broke up with me I thought everything was perfect, as I lay in his arms but suddenly the walls to our little world came crashing down around me in just a phone-call. How hard it is to create perfection and yet how easy it is to crumble it.  However, I have now come to terms with the break up through recent events. Now, that I am over the initial shock and have come to learn a few things about our relationship, that I previously didn't know I can see clearly. (haha whenever I use that line it reminds me of the song 'I can see clearly now')

Although, the initial pain of losing someone I love, who was not only a boyfriend but also a best friend was extremely hard to deal with, I coped. By channeling my negative energy into all my work I was left calm and my reason for anger was soon forgotten. I am now happy, and I feel free as by seeing the same man every day I was trapping myself and disallowing myself to do other things that were equally important such as making time for my other friends.

Someone once told me that 'a tiger never changes his stripes' and although at first I dismissed this as I was an optimist-and naively thought love would conquer all- I wish I was wise and took this advice and interpreted it to my situation because in all honesty, if there is something about a person you wish to change, then is it really love? Or just idyllic? At first, I believed that if you love someone then you look past the bad parts of their character and only look at the good. On the other hand, maybe if you love someone, then in your eyes they have no bad but only good.

Finally, I have also learnt that, in relationships there are no rules: you make them.

Love O

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